World
Mystery Fart “Planted by My Opponents,” Claims Incumbent Khateeb

Mystery Fart “Planted by My Opponents,” Claims Incumbent Khateeb

  Birmingham, UK—Calls for the resignation of Shaykh Saleh Abu-Fasya have grown amidst the latest accusation that he continues to fart during khutbahs. Abu-Fasya has adamantly denied the…

September 9, 2021Comments OffRead More

US News

ISIS Finally Reaches Goal of 100% Male Membership

ISIS Finally Reaches Goal of 100% Male Membership

The Islamic State of Iraq and Syria (ISIS) is celebrating a major milestone today, as…

October 3, 2022Comments OffRead More

Halal McNuggets Will Allow Muslims To Also Enjoy Food Poisoning

Halal McNuggets Will Allow Muslims To Also Enjoy Food Poisoning

McDonald’s is set to release a new line of halal-certified McNuggets, allowing Muslims to also…

October 3, 2022Comments OffRead More

Mystery Fart “Planted by My Opponents,” Claims Incumbent Khateeb

Mystery Fart “Planted by My Opponents,” Claims Incumbent Khateeb

  Birmingham, UK—Calls for the resignation of Shaykh Saleh Abu-Fasya have grown amidst the latest…

September 9, 2021Comments OffRead More

Science & Technology

New App Allows Parents To Compare Ahmed To Fictional Children

New App Allows Parents To Compare Ahmed To Fictional Children

Redmond, WA (11:30 A.M. PST) — Microsoft, Inc. announced this morning the launch of a new app developed at the request of Muslim parents who desire to compare their children…

February 10, 2014No CommentRead More

Apple TV For Muslim Mothers To Include ‘Fast Forward Through Entire PG-13 Movie’ Button

Apple TV For Muslim Mothers To Include ‘Fast Forward Through Entire PG-13 Movie’ Button

By Hamza Khan Cupertino, CA (10:00 A.M. PST)– Apple representatives were pleased to announce the release of Apple TV For Muslim Mothers this morning at their headquarters in…

February 6, 2014No CommentRead More

New “iBribe” App Makes Waves In Middle Eastern Tech Market

New “iBribe” App Makes Waves In Middle Eastern Tech Market

Ajman, UAE (8:00 A.M. GMT)— The Middle-Eastern tech world is buzzing about a new app designed to connect government officials directly with their constituents more effectively this morning. The…

January 28, 2014No CommentRead More

Muslim Zoo Welcomes Arrival Of ‘Small Bear Thing’ To Facility

Muslim Zoo Welcomes Arrival Of ‘Small Bear Thing’ To Facility

 By Ahmed Rahil Tafilah, Jordan (10:00 A.M. GMT)– Zookeepers and government officials at the Tafilah Municipal Zoo welcomed a small grey bear thing to the facility today. The small…

January 27, 2014No CommentRead More

Opinions

2017′s Top-5 Muslim Bachelors At Your Local Mosque

2017′s Top-5 Muslim Bachelors At Your Local Mosque

By Yahya Ridwan Cupertino, CA (8:00 PM PST): It’s that time of year again everyone! After literally thousands of submissions, we’ve…

November 3, 2017Comments OffRead More

2017′s Top-5 Muslim Bachelorettes At Your Local Mosque

2017′s Top-5 Muslim Bachelorettes At Your Local Mosque

By Layla Sabry Cupertino, CA (8:00 PM PST): Last season you got to meet the Top-5 Bachelors at your local mosque!…

August 7, 2017Comments OffRead More